An Old Story (The Good Samaritan) in a Modern Context

Jesus said, “A gang-banger was going down the road on the south side of Chicago. Some rival gang members surrounded him, tore off his clothes, and beat him. Then they left him lying there on the ground almost dead.

 “It happened that a pastor was going down that road. When he saw the gang-banger, he did not stop to help him. He walked away.  Next, an Evangelical came near. He saw the hurt gang-banger, but he went around him. He would not stop to help him either. He just walked away.

 “Then a gay man traveled down that road. He came to the place where the hurt gang-banger was lying. He saw the man and felt very sorry for him. The gay man went to him and treated his wounds. Then he covered the man’s wounds with cloth. The gay man had a car. He put the hurt man on in his car, and he took him to the hospital. There he made certain the man received the best care.  The next day, the gay man took out his wallet and paid his medical bill. He said to the nurse, ‘Give the best care to this hurt man and send his bills to my address. I will pay them.’”

Marriage Covenant

Marriage is based on commitment. It is a commitment to love, to sacrifice and to stay together regardless of the circumstances. A commitment is a human promise to another human. The problem with human commitments is the humans break commitments. We can't do as Jesus said and let our "yes" be "yes" and "no" be "no." Yet a marriage should and can last forever because Jesus also said, "What God has joined together, let no man separate." (Mark 10:9) So how can we stay together and keep love alive? The answer for my wife and me is a covenant with God. We were married not when we signed a marriage licence, but when we signed a covenant before God. When we signed that covenant we expected and trusted that God would keep the covenant. We put our trust in God's hands. We put our marriage in God's hands. We asked our friends and family to sign as well and in doing so asked them to support our marriage and pray for us. The covenant hangs on our wall and is the most important document in the house. We both believe that it is impossible for us to divorce and for our love to die.

We have been blessed that others have used our covenant for their marriage. We welcome the use by anyone.

 Our Marriage Covenant

I, Robert, promise before God to be a faithful husband to Rubilyn. I will love her as Christ loves the church. I will be a servant leader putting her needs and desires ahead of my own. I will sacrifice my time and very life for her and our family.

I, Rubilyn, promise before God to be a faithful wife to Robert. I will respect him as my loving servant leader. I will put his needs and desires ahead of my own. I promise to be as well organized, trustworthy, and hard-working as the capable women described in Proverbs 31:10-31. I will care for him and the children entrusted to me and always love and defend him as his supportive companion.

We, Rubilyn and Robert, commit before God to strive for oneness. We pray that we may be one as the Father, Son and Spirit are one. By God’s grace we will become one in body, mind, heart and spirit. We vow to be honest and open in our communication. We will be submissive to each other even to the point of adopting the other’s will and desire as our own. We vow that our family will pray, read God’s word, attend church services and serve our God. We vow to seek God’s will and desire for our life and marriage. To God our loving Father we make this covenant agreement with Him and each other.

Rubilyn                    &                    Robert

Before God our loving Father we are witnesses to this covenant agreement and commit to pray for and support the marriage of Rubilyn and Robert.

Commitment

What does commitment mean? I think for many people, commitment means that I'll remain as long as my needs are met and I'm happy. If we are not happy with a job, we leave. If we are not happy in a marriage because our needs are not being met, we leave. There was a time in our history where we were loyal to a company for life. There was a time in our history when we were married for life even though you faced hard times. You went through hard times together. You stayed with the other even if you no longer felt loved or felt happy. My grandmothers were married to drunks. They were afraid, abused and often not happy, but they were committed. 

When we realized that companies were not loyal to us, we realized we no longer needed to remain committed to the company. When we realized we could leave abusive situations, we did. At some point in our history, our own needs and our own happiness become more important than our commitment. Commitment became conditional.

It is not good to stay committed in an abusive situation. While I admire my grandmothers' courage, I'm sad that they endured abuse. I think in our past, we fell into a trap of legalism. We remained committed because it was morally right to do so. We endured abuse, neglect and not being loved because it was wrong to break our commitments. Society and religion told us it was wrong. We felt pride in keeping commitments and too afraid to break them. We would feel ashamed of ourselves if we divorced. People who did divorce were looked down upon by society and the church. 

Now we've swung the opposite direction. Commitments are conditional. Society and sometimes even the church encourages us to leave when things get tough or we are not happy. Sometimes the church fights against the messages of society but in a legalistic way still promoting pride or shame as the motive to stay committed. 

To leave a situation because we are not happy or our needs are not being met is selfish. Marriage is not an institution which is designed to have our needs met and to make us happy. Marriage is a covenant relationship between two people and God. It is a means for growth to become more like Jesus, to become less selfish, more giving, more loving and a better person who truly is an image of the Creator. 

We must learn that God's love for us is unconditional. He is committed to us and our well being. We are not capable of keeping our commitments. We are not capable of loving unconditionally. We are not capable of obeying God's law of love. Jesus kept his commitment to us. He loves us unconditionally. He kept God's law of love perfectly because we cannot. He died for us because we deserved death yet God did not desire that we perish. He redeemed us and reconciled us to him even though we abandoned him to seek our own pleasure and happiness apart from him. We sought our own pleasure and happiness but failed to achieve it because we had abandoned the very source of love, pleasure and happiness. God asks us to recommit ourselves to him knowing we can't keep it on our own. Even though we will continue to break our commitment to God, he will not break his to us. We can be assured that nothing will ever separate us from God's love ever again. 

Our commitments to each other must flow from God's commitment to us. Our love for each other must depend on God's love for us. Apart from him, we cannot keep our commitments. Apart from him, we cannot love unconditionally.

If we are motivated by fear or shame, we will not love and keep our commitments. We may be coerced into keeping our commitments out of fear or shame. We may remain loyal because we are enslaved by fear, but we will not grow in love. Commitment itself does not enslave us. Commitment frees us when we depend on God to keep the commitment. Fear, shame, regret, selfishness, and pride enslave us.

My wife and I signed a covenant when we were married. In doing so, we committed ourselves to God and each other regardless of circumstances. When we signed it, we knew we were NOT capable of keeping the covenant and our commitment. We signed it knowing God IS capable of keeping out covenant and commitment. We signed it in faith trusting God to keep it. We believe our love came from God who is love. We believe God grows our love. I love my wife more now than when I signed our covenant. Our love is strong because our God is strong. We have no fear of divorce because we trust our God. We feel very secure and very free. We are not chained by commitment. We are free. We are bound by love and by God who loves us. That bond cannot be broken because God is faithful. 

What is commitment? In our marriage, commitment is a faithful covenant with God and each other bound by the love God has given us. For us, commitment is for life. We are not bound by a legalistic determination to stay together. We do not live in fear of shame. We are not afraid of breaking our commitment. We are not enslaved by a promise. We are bound by love forever. 

Being a Dad

On April 23rd 2014 my precious daughter Johanna was born and I became a daddy for the first time. I am overjoyed and extremely happy. My wife was induced because she had preeclampsia . She went through 9 hours of labor but her cervix only dilated 3 centimeters, so she had to undergo a cesarean. After witnessing what she went through, I'm convinced that the male is the weaker sex. She demonstrated tremendous strength and endurance. When she should have been resting and recovering from the surgery, she had to wake every few hours to nurse our baby.

My dad is very happy that I've had a child but says he doesn't envy me raising a child in this world. He raised five children but didn't face the challenges that exist today. Honestly, I am concerned. My solution is prayer, much prayer. I've begun by praying Psalm 139 over my child often.I pray with my wife morning and night.

To prepare for the birth of our child, my wife and I went on a retreat at Glen Eyrie. We walked in beautiful creation. We prayed. We wrote in our journals. We read the Bible together. It was a great time for us both. It was very helpful to us both. I'd highly recommend doing it.

Our daughter's name means "God's Gracious Gift." That is truly what she is.

God’s gracious gift arrived today.
Conceived by the love of two
Now, forever upon our hearts will stay.
Our precious baby, we love you.
Resting upon Mother’s breast,
Baby is safe and secure in peace.
Contently she is heavenly blessed.
Our love will everyday increase.
As our baby will mature and grow
In our care in this earthy place
May she turn to God and know
For eternity, love and grace.

I love holding her and seeing her every day. I pray for her future and am doing my best to plan for it.

My Proverbs 31 Woman

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised

Proverb 31:10-12;25-30


I have been single all my life, but have desired to be married. When I was just 3 years old, I asked my aunt how old you had to be to get married. I am now 47 years old and engaged to be married to a very beautiful woman. I have never been married all these years. It was worth the wait. God asks us to wait on him. I believe when we wait, God gives us his best. When we take matters into our own hand to take what God does not give us, it causes tremendous grief. I have often done that and regretted it. God certainly forgave me but I also at times suffered consequences.

The woman God has given me is certainly a woman of noble character, a virtuous woman. She believes in obedience to God and his word. She studies his word daily. She is very involved in her church. She attends classes and teaches others. She loves to worship in song. She truly loves, respects and honors God.

She is certainly worth more than rubies. In fact, the first part of her name is Ruby which shows her value. Love is what we all need the most and she gives love very freely and consistently. Receiving her love is of greater value than any precious gem.

She is strong. She has endured trials and God has molded her character through those trials. She is from the Philippines which is a very poor country. She has very little in material possessions compared to the poorest American. In spite of poor living conditions, she is able to laugh and giggle freely.

She is wise. We read the Bible together and she often demonstrates wisdom from the Holy Spirit with the insights she shares. She gives me wise input into all our financial decisions as a couple. She has a good understanding of the differences between men and women. She knows how to speak and listen to me.

She is certainly not idle. She worked in another country to make money not for herself but for her family. She received a nursing degree and had to work hard to be able to afford school. She works faithfully for her family and for her church. She shows unselfishness in all she does. She is very generous and giving.

She has no children yet, but I'm certain when she does, they will call her blessed. She loves kids. She gives affection, love and instruction to her sibling's children. I certainly praise her and believe she is worthy of honor and praise.

She is certainly beautiful in her outer appearance and takes time to make herself look so. Yet, I know that beauty will fade. Her heart's beauty will never fade. She truly fears and respects the Lord. The love she has in her heart shines on her countenance giving her even more beauty.

Soon after we met, I prayed to God. I was interested in a few women at the time and asked for his wisdom to help me choose. I felt led to begin a Bible study. It was doing a study on 1 Corinthians 13 which convinced me to begin to court this woman. I asked her father's permission to do so and he readily agreed. In a short time, I visited her in the Philippines. It did not take me long to be convinced with no uncertainty that she was the woman God had prepared for me. I asked her father's permission to marry her and then after receiving his approval, I asked her. She said yes. Now we are waiting for her visa to be issued so she can come to America and we can be married.

I waited a long time to meet her and now have been waiting over 10 months to marry her. I'm still waiting, but God has already proved that waiting on him is the best thing to do. His timing is perfect and his gifts are the greatest.

God often tells us to wait. He is teaching delayed gratification and faith. I know it will be very gratifying to be with my bride but I must wait. The time waiting has certainly tested my faith and my trust in God. I admit at times I've faltered. It is not easy to wait but God has proved that it is worth it.

What are you waiting for? Wait on God's time and his gifts. It is worth it.

I love you

I love you. Those are the three most powerful words in the English language. From the time we are born, we not only long to hear those words but know they are true. The most important thing we need to know as a baby is that Mom and Dad love us. Sadly, many of us grew up not knowing that to be true. The two people who should have loved us the most didn't.

As we grow up, we seek to know we are loved by others -- by siblings, aunts, uncles, teachers, friends, acquaintances, bosses, etc. We perform our best. We do our best to earn the love and acceptance of those we meet. If that doesn't work, we do our worst just to gain attention as a substitute for being loved. If we are not loved or do not feel loved, we will do much to fill the hole in our hearts that it leaves. We will dress like others to be accepted. We will do what others do hoping to fit in. We will hold onto unhealthy relationships, we will socialize, we will serve others, we will give away our money, we will give our time, we will drink, we will take drugs, we will even kill just to be loved and accepted.

I love you. We need to hear those words daily. We need to be touched so we know we are loved. We need people to spend time with us to know we are loved. We need to receive gifts to know we are loved. We need to be served and receive acts of kindness to know we are loved. We need to be praised and told we've done well to know we are loved. Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages believes that we speak and hear 5 different love languages to communicate love.We all need physical touch, gifts of love, quality time spent with us, acts of service, and words of affirmation to feel loved.

Are you loved? Do you have parents who love you? Do you have friends who love you? Do you have a spouse who loves you? Do you have children who love you?

There must be at least one individual in your life who loves you. If not, you could not survive. Being loved is that important. CASA, an organization fighting child abuse states "'No child can live without love' is a powerful and truthful statement. Growing up in a loving environment and being shown love is fundamental to a child’s development."

The good news is there is at least one individual who loves you. He knows you intimately. He knows all the good things you've done. He knows all the bad things you've done. He knows every lie and every truth. He knows when you've loved and when you've hated. He knows when you've given and when you've taken. He knows every fault, every hidden thing about you. And he loves you. He loves you passionately. He loves you unconditionally. He desperately wants you to know how much he loves you.

There is nothing you can do to earn this individual's love and there's nothing you can do to stop him from loving you. He loves you as you are right now. He's loved you since before you were born. He will love you long after you've died.

His name is Jesus Christ. Yes, Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you. He passionately loves you. He desperately wants you to know he loves you. You can't earn his love. You can't do anything that will stop him from loving you.

There is, however, a problem. The problem is that you've done things that separate you from God. You see God is righteous and holy. He's never done anything wrong. He is love. He is good.

You and I have done many things that are not loving to both ourselves and others. We hurt others. We hurt ourselves. This both grieves God because he loves us and separates us from God. God's law is a law of love. He tells us to love him because he first loved us and to love ourselves and others. His command is to love him and love others perfectly. We fail to do both.

God is also just. There is a penalty for the things you do wrong. That penalty is death. Death would separate you from God forever. God does not want that. He wants to be with you forever. He loves you.

So, God provided a way to both satisfy his justice and his love. He took the penalty for the unloving things you've done upon himself. Jesus came to this earth, lived as a man and died. He lived a perfect life of love. He died for you, taking the penalty you deserve. Having done this, God has provided a bridge to himself for you. All you have to do is accept his love and cross the bridge by believing that Jesus died for you because you've done unloving things. Believe this and God will forgive you. God gives us all a choice. We can choose to remain condemned for our disobedience to God's law of love or we can choose to accept his payment for our guilt and be reconciled to him and his love.

There is a catch. The catch is that if you accept Jesus, he will begin to change you because he loves you. He knows the unloving things you do hurt you and others he loves. So he will give you the power to change when you submit to his reign in your life. You will also be so overwhelmed with his love for you that you will want to serve him and others. You will want to tell others about his love.

God is not out to deprive you of good things. On the contrary, he wants to give you the best. Following him and living by his loving commands is the best.

You may be skeptical of this. This may seem too good to be true. But what if it is true? Is it not worth investigating? I challenge you, look into this. See if it is true. Ask a Christian friend. Tell that friend you are skeptical but want to know the truth. Read a Bible. Read the gospels and examine the life of this man Jesus. Read books by former atheists like C. S. Lewis' 'Mere Christianity' or Lee Strobel's 'The Case for Christ.'

You'll find these three words are true: 'Jesus loves you.' Yes, you. As you are. No conditions. He loves you. He made you. He wants to spend an eternity with you. Yes, Jesus wants to touch you, to spend time with you, to give you gifts, to serve you and to affirm you. One day he wants to say to you, 'I love you, my child. I'm so joyful that you let me love you. I'm so joyful you let me change you. I'm so joyful you let me serve others through you. Well done. Come near now and be with me and my father forever.'This is about the greatest and truest love that any of us can find.

A Right Wing Evangelical Christian Defends Gay Rights

I am a white, male, right wing, evangelical Christian. My political and moral views are often very conservative. In the last three years, my traditional and strongly held convictions have been greatly challenged. I've been living in the home of a lesbian who has been a dear friend of mine since High School. I've known her for over 30 years. I've interacted closely with many of her lesbian friends and have had some difficult conversations.

I am now engaged to be married and firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. I believe that God conducted and ordained the first marriage between a man and a woman. My fiancée and I have been reading many books on the topic of marriage to prepare us for marriage. We see the purpose of marriage as being a means to grow each spouse into the image and character of our savior Jesus Christ. We don't see marriage as a means to make each other happy or to feel loved always. We see it as way for us to grow in love toward our God and toward each other. We see it as the most intimate human relationship possible. We are in love but that love is much more a commitment to each other than a feeling. It is a daily decision as well as daily actions based on that decision. I do not believe that society gives me the right to marry. I believe marriage is a covenant promise made to God and to my spouse. It is a lifelong commitment to love one person first and foremost.

The issue of gay marriage and gay rights has taken on a new meaning for me. For the Christian, gay marriage and gay rights are moral issues. To the gay community they are civil rights issues only.  Christians who fight against gay rights think that if society permits gay marriage and other gay rights, society is condoning sin and destroying the sanctity of marriage. In fighting against gay rights, the Christian is building a wall of mistrust and anger which blinds the gay person to the love and acceptance that Jesus modeled. Rather than loving and accepting the individual as Jesus loved and accepted people, the Christian is making the gay person a target of violence and hatred. When Jesus was presented a woman caught in the act of adultery, he told the crowd that anyone could throw the first stone to kill her if they had no sin. No one threw stones for all recognized their own sinfulness. Christians today have become stone throwers. Jesus did not condemn this woman. He did not throw stones.

The current gay rights movement has its roots in the Stonewall Riots of 1969.  In the summer of 1969, a group of gay New Yorkers made a stand against raiding police officers at a popular gay bar called The Stonewall Inn. Very few establishments welcomed openly gay people in the 1960s. Those that did were often bars. Police were cracking down on gay bars for operating without Liquor Authority licenses. Licenses were refused to bars that served gays. Often Mafia affiliates ran the unlicensed establishments and so had to deal with the police to stay in business. Police would raid the gay bars and demand money under the threats of imprisonment. On June 27, 1969, a police raid on the Stonewall arrested 13 people inside the bar. A woman, cried out to the assembled bystanders as she was shoved into a paddy wagon, "Why don't you guys do something!" The crowd fought back. Chants of “Gay Power!” echoed in the streets. Soon, beer bottles and trash cans were flying. The crowd swelled to over 2000. Police reinforcements came. Over the next 6 days fire hoses turned on people in the street, barricades were thrown, police were kicked and a firebomb was thrown inside the bar. Gay pride parades originally occurred on June 27th to commemorate the Stonewall Riots.

Before the gay rights movement, people could be arrested for kissing in public, holding hands or dancing. Police harassment and brutality have been constant features of gay and lesbian life for decades. Gays have been detained indefinitely. They have been beaten and publicly humiliated.  Lesbian and male drag queens through the 1950s and 1960s suffered frequent rapes and sexual assaults from police officers. Civilians committed these same crimes without interference from police. GLBT people are fighting for protection under the law not persecution by the law.

In 1953, President Eisenhower issued executive order making homosexuality a necessary and sufficient reason to fire any federal employee. Many defense industries followed suit. Eisenhower's executive order stood from 1953 until 1993. There has never been any employment protection for gay people as there is now for straight white women, straight men, and women and men who belong to racial and ethnic minorities. Employers routinely refuse to hire gay people regardless of their qualifications and fire any who manage to be hired. GLBT people are fighting for equal employment opportunities.

In fighting for gay marriage now, the GLBT community is fighting for civil rights. When a partner is hospitalized, the partner who has loved and lived with them for decades is refused the right to be at their bedside or to make life decisions because they are not family. If a partner dies and no will has been left, the surviving partner has no legal claim to shared property and possessions. Gay couples without marriage licenses are denied family health benefits.

I have also observed that gay marriage is a matter of acceptance for the gay community. The gay community wants to be accepted as normal by society rather than be persecuted and mistreated. The gay couple wants to have a ceremony celebrating their love and commitment as much as any straight couple. The gay couple wants this ceremony and marriage to be accepted by society as normal. The LGBT community is not seen as normal. They do not feel accepted by society and certainly not by Christians. Every difference sets them apart and contributes to their sense of not belonging. Acceptance of gay marriage would give them more of a sense of acceptance. The only place where they truly feel safe and accepted is among their peers. In society, they are not only afraid of not being accepted but also of being harmed. The fear is well founded for they have been the victims of much hate and violence.

Having closely interacted with people in the gay community for 3 years, I've seen the anger and the hurt. I've been educated about the harm and discrimination afflicted upon gay individuals. I understand why Christians are seen as the enemy. Gay people do not see a loving and compassionate Jesus when they observe Christians. They see the church and Christianity as a powerful political organization that opposes basic human rights.

When Jesus walked the earth, he accepted people as they were. He had no political agenda. He did not fight to overthrow oppressive Rome or free his fellow Jews. He did not condemn individuals. He forgave people and told them to go and sin no more. People were motivated not to sin anymore because they were not condemned but rather were loved and accepted. When Jesus walked the earth, he chose to attend parties hosted by people society considered terrible sinners. When Jesus walked the earth, he broke society taboos and spoke with women. He allowed prostitutes to touch him. He touched and healed ostracized lepers. If he walked the earth today, do you suppose he would walk into gay bars and attend gay parties or would he refuse to associate with "those" people as his followers do?  If he walked the earth today, do you think he would loudly condemn gays and fight against individual rights as his followers do now?

The class of people Jesus loudly criticized where religious authorities who pridefully considered themselves better than the "sinners" around them. Are not we Christians in danger of being like these hypocritical religious leaders?

All of us fail to love God perfectly with all our hearts, souls and minds. All of us fail to love perfectly ourselves, our friends, our acquaintances, our neighbors and our enemies. We all fail to keep these two basic commands of God to love him and to love others. His laws are for our own good yet all of us fail to keep them. All of us, therefore, are under just condemnation and deserve hell. Forgiveness is available to us all. Jesus took the penalty of death that we all justly deserve. He offers his death as payment for us so we can be reconciled to the God and Father who passionately and unconditionally loves us all. There is no special hell for gays. There is no special condemnation for the LGBT people. God offers his love and forgiveness to all of us and all of us need his forgiveness. There are none who do right. There are none who are sinless. Only Jesus perfectly loved. Only the death of Jesus can be accepted by God as a means for forgiveness. God offers us all a choice. We can choose to be condemned or we can choose the payment for our sins offered by Jesus and receive forgiveness. He desires a relationship with all human beings. His offer is open to all.

The gay community only sees condemnation and opposition from the Christian community. It is my hope and prayer that my gay friends would see beyond the bad example of Christians and see the loving acceptance offered by Jesus.  It is my hope and prayer the Christians would cease to condemn and be a better example of the love and acceptance that Jesus has given them so that others would receive the same love and acceptance.

We believers in Jesus are fighting the wrong battle. Our battle is not against society. Our battle is for souls. That battle is fought on our knees and by imitating our savior in loving others well.

Before the throne of God we are all equal. The only right we have before God is the right to die for we all deserve condemnation. We can earn no rights or privileges from God. We can only receive grace as a gift which we don't deserve.